Hesitation

Sorry everyoneeeee. Yes, i locked my blog for two days. Cause i was veryvery upset & i wanna post some stuffs & let no one see. I invited nobody. So don ask me why never invite you.
Life was very terrible & horrible for th past few days.
Bad appetite & bad sleep. ):
Everything bad falls together at th same time when i was falling down so deep.
Tears drip down slowly. Happiness change slowly. Everything change slowly.
& yes, i can't blame anyone for it. It was my own mistake. My own.
Wanted to delete this blog, but it kind of contains lots of memories. So i didn't.
I came across this tv drama few days back.
It says that, life is just like a see-saw. When you're going up, another person is falling down. & when you're falling down, another person is going up.
I bet some people out there, are smiling happily & enjoying their life to th fullest. While im crying almost every single day & suffering.
Will you come back ? I don't think so.
Shall i just end everything here ? Or should i not.
Should i say , it's th biggest blow that i ever had in my life for th 15 years.
I laughed, cried & dead.
I never see you coming back anymore. & im just hanging down there... waiting. & waiting. even if i know you will never turn back for me.
What a wonderful silence night. & maybe christmas too.
Will things change ? I really wonder. )':
I tried to flood my thoughts with work stuffs when im working. But work will always end at th end of th day. But th pain im suffering never ends... & it get's even more stronger.
I may never learn to love,smile or laugh anymore..

How do i pick myself up again? I dun know. ):

If i've a christmas wish, i will wish for that message to come. )':

♥ 10:47 PM